I've always liked Gomez

Me, hours after taking prednisone for anaphylactic reaction. (Dissociated on spiking blood sugar because diabetic.)

That's right, big control problem.

On the side, finally got my new phone today. It's a beautiful metallic pink with chic white flower motif case with pink details and a clear pink sheen. I jumped from a Galaxy 6 to a 22 and my phones are currently yapping away to each other, moving #allthestuff.

We have an agreement to agree, more or less, to hand off, not wig out and disappear, to at least get into a stable atmosphere doing something stable. More or less. Tonight was intensely difficult, best we could do was let it boil over into one of us obsessing like a psycho and the others going through facepalms, wringing of hands, quails of embarrassment, and swears to just wipe everything and disappear off the webs.

I, the voice of reason, the cat who walks by himself and all places are alike to me, waited patiently. Once it burned itself down, another misfit tried slipping into game which was almost abysmal because that one doesn't game and just wanted to make it all stop and alla sudden there were shouts of ohbloodyhell she's going to start shredding builds and rearrange the city, at which point I took the laptop away, logged off the game, checked on the phones transferring all the stuff, and diverted to the most stable standby we have, and that is pinky blog. Years of pinky blog have gotten us through the craziest days and here we are.

If you aren't a dissociated person and don't personally know anyone who is, it gets like this once in awhile, especially with meds messing us up, sorta feels a bit crazy but it's really a sudden terribly unsynched all hands on deck kind of thing. The closest I can describe is maybe not being that in control during an alcohol or drug binge and watching yourself in horror, unable to stop what feels like excruciating stupidity.

The others think I'm being a bit cruel but I wasn't the one threatening to destroy everything we made together, was I? No reason to go into a panic, just get all settled again while I type words. We're fine. Aside from a blood sugar headache and feeling mentally disjointed, we're fine. We just need to space out and float on ignoring the world right now.

Scott is munching out on corn pops beside me while he watches Jack Ryan, oblivious to the sugar calling to me like an addict. Diabetic on pred is like being an alcoholic staring at the listerene bottle or a smoker staring at the ash tray thinking there's some left on those butts. I've been there. Controlling diabetes without meds is rough sometimes. The cravings can be pretty insane. Scott is on meds for his, eats what he wants, has a higher A1C than I do (mine is practically normal), and it doesn't phase him. He doesn't get headaches or nausea, doesn't get big and fat, is aging normally, very healthy for his age. Oblivious to me pointedly ignoring what I can't have without making myself very sick.

I think we're past the worst of it. I've been through this many times, just stick to a little bit of cheese and deli turkey with a green onion and a few olives and nothing gets worse. Stick to super low carb till the little crisis is over.

I'm never touching french fries in the car again. I didn't even eat any, I know better. Anything fast food is likely cross contaminated with allergens, so I just don't even try. But today I was trying to be helpful in traffic, handing out food to a person too impatient to just sit somewhere and eat for a couple of minutes, and without even thinking rubbed my nose with greasy fry fingers and then took awhile to notice that I kept rubbing my nose because it was itching or tickling so much for some reason, and by the time I finally looked in the little mirror my nose was already completely red and puffy and my cheecks looked slapped or sunburned. I carry benadryl and prednisone all the time, thank goodness it didn't take much to make it stop. About two hours later I was back to normal, but the pred will be in my system awhile.

If that had been something I'd been eating I might possibly still be in the hospital right now. I've been through some pretty ridiculous reactions and loads of meds.

I have this rule that I've followed for years to just never touch my face while I'm out of the house. Never, for any reason. I slipped up today.

On a happy note, the pred very nicely calmed a fibro flare down.

Are we bored enough to stop yet? I'm bored. I think I'm going to try to get back on game now.

That vid up there was the first thing that popped into my head when I realized what was going on. All my mes in a situation.

I daresay there are a number of people in this world who haven't yet met all their mes and have no clue they exist. They just hide being weird so people won't know they're crazy, or they act out and blow it off because inside they can't explain it. I think we are way more numerous than the world realizes. This is how people survive trauma. Brains are practically made to break because it makes people so easy to control. The uncontrollable are blown off as crazy and put on meds. People just need to stop breaking each other.

💜

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I may have to bullet point. This last week was super crazy.

• A crucial window of opportunity was missed on a tip to probation that I thought everyone could see was obvious. Nothing was resolved and there may not be another opportunity.
• A separate anonymous tip to senior services resulted in such an unprofessional response that it blew the family up instead of saving anyone from abuse.
• Because of these slippages, history of domestic abuse now includes possible felony gun complications.
• Having lived next door to this family for nearly 30 years, having gone through my own parents aging and dying with me being DPOA over a 15 year span, I'm really tired of all the excuses that come up. Granted they are trying. I'll give them that. But it's extremely painful to watch.
• Next time I will bypass everyone and just make the phone calls myself. I'm done with this continuing to mangle the future with such a variety of blind victim roles. Every one of them is playing through stages of not yet realizing they can step out of the psyche mess and simply just activate what they want to see happen.

I could make another bullet point, I guess.

• We are obviously going through aging issues in this house. Someone doesn't realize it's obvious.
• I'm the one with cognitive (and other) disability for years, but I'm realizing now I need to start taking some control of the paperwork and possibly the phone calls.
• His forgetfulness is worse than mine now, and it's starting to affect the money.

Another bullet point. This is way easier than paragraphing today.

• Phone death is even more imminent than ever. Time to dump more apps and start wiping everything completely off of it. I may be disappearing from social medias for awhile.
• This is the mega year of wasps, spiders, and snakes. I've never seen it this bad and since I'm the sort to document and not just sling out exaggerations, yeah. It's bad. We've also caught 2 armadillos in the yard in only days apart and that's never happened before. Other critters showing up around the henhouse on our live cams demos it's tough out there for a number of critters. Very active wildlife movement on out of season extremely hot summer days, that is very unusual. Our lawn doesn't usually get crunchy until late August, but we're there already.
• I've been marathoning old series based around weird time glitches, time travel, parallel world hopping, timelines messing up or looping, etc, and I've been finding loads of history on CERN. Loads. CERN goes back to right after World War II. Bet most of the world doesn't know that. :edit: I forgot to add that all those series going back 2 decades and more have the same verbiage and symbolism that the great awakening is now using regarding kaballah. Imagine that. 
• My dreams have gotten extremely interesting again lately but I haven't been writing them down. I'll simply say that if I'm right about the things I've been trying to word out on social medias (it's very hard for me to do that), we're all in for a big surprise. Everyone. I don't care what people believe in, every bit of it is psyop or constructed or misdirection. Every. Bit. Reality has nothing to do with our world history as we know it.
• I'm too mentally drained and exhausted to keep trying to write this out, not to mention all the continual real life distractions. If I'd spent my life writing fiction like I wanted, I'd be a millionaire by now.
• Someone is fucking with this window since 3 dots ago and I've lost nearly everything several times. Guess I'll stop here.

Love you guys. I think of those of you who have become dear to me. I'll find ways to lurk and check on you.

Summer Days

That minecraft experiment I was doing wasn't a total fail, but I was unhappy with it. I was using a fabric launcher with unfamiliar mods and it got so boring I could hardly stand it and stopped playing. As a few things in real life started feeling more stressful, I remembered I was always my happiest in Mo Creatures. So about a month ago I got it all loaded with the idea that wherever I land is where I build my empire. I've never found a truly all-satisfying terrain to call home because I love it all, so it's up to me to actually get more creative now and literally create my world from the raw materials around me. Saying that, it was ironically apropos that I wind up on the ocean with a handful of tiny islands. Thank goodness they were wooded and were spawning creatures just fine, was easy to get busy conquering.

I did allow myself to go into creative and grab ents. In Mo Creatures those are tree people who plant a variety of flowers, which come in handy for dyes. Since I'm literally on an ocean, they don't naturally spawn well there. I hollowed out the hill and put a sheep and chicken operation underneath.

These guys alone are worth going back to an old mod.

I had completely forgotten about the mouse glitches we had years ago. This one got stuck on my arm and I couldn't get it off until I killed myself, then it somehow got stuck in the door next to me. I shot it with an arrow.

I have a few skin glitches, so that's not what I intended to look like, but there is that mouse stuck on me.

This is one of my outfits from my techmod days. An admin made it for me for a pajama party and I added the pumpkin touches on the sleeves, belt, and shoes. I was a huge pumpkin farmer, all my wealth started with a gigantic pumpkin farm.

So that's basics for now. It's only been a couple of weeks (I'm not on every day) but I'm super skilled at leveling fast. 99.9% of everything is raw materials from scratch. Since I came from years of player economy I decided I need my own little economy. There is no way in game to obtain the ogre materials, so since I work for cobble, I'm using a stack of that as a fair exchange for a stack of ogre goods. I used a stack of cobble to buy a wyvern staff. The wyvern lair is pretty screwed, but moc singleplayer is famous for that and I wasn't surprised. It's still cool to go there. Maybe I'll build something in creative mode there later and it'll be really cool. I haven't been to the end yet, want to do it naturally.

I've already got a list of goals that might take part of the summer to accomplish, but it will keep me out of trubbas in real life. Once I helped get that ball rolling on a real situation, I clearly needed to step back and let people handle fixing their own stuff. I think they're doing really well stepping up, so that's that and I probably won't mention it again while it's all still in play and highly volatile. Resolution needs to happen and then the looking back sees better than the muddling through point of view.

I'm still very pleased with the seed I'm using. I tightened it up a bit from last time and hit paydirt immediately with internet algorithm crossovers, plus alla sudden TruthSocial started censoring in a particular direction. I didn't mean for that to happen, but it hadn't happened before, so it was unavoidably noticeable on my end. I could try explaining it but I'd just sound even more crazy. I don't think I'm the cause, more like a spotlight in a way. I've been through years of very particular things disappearing off youtube that I love when I highlight them (they'll be there for years till I share them, then *poof* overnight and stats actually tracking straight back to where I had shared AFTER they poof, so someone is checking up on whether reporting worked, yeah, it gets pretty personal, and this isn't just Lexx, this has spanned a number of vids across entertainment since at least 2008-9), so I avoid sharing vids other people load. (Seriously, I did a TV review, shared a playlist, the entire playlist was eradicated after that TV review went worldwide in my stats even though it had sat there unmolested for 12 years.) I experimented with two of my own uploads and they're not censored yet from sharing, but they're unlisted and barely show up anywhere on internet, certainly didn't seem to draw traffic, so they seem to be safe, but I'm very careful not to link them on my blogs. Anyway, I'm good at driving traffic, and where I point sometimes gets hit. I just wanted to see how personal that might really, truly get after all the recon I've been through since the start of 2021. I keep saying AI knows me well. I've lived in internet for many years. Pretty sure Janika Banks has special logarithms in place or this wouldn't have gotten so drastic across Google search when Pinky disappeared off twitter.

There are loads of things I don't share because the rest of my presence would probably get wiped out. I have thoughts that I wrap up in years of candy and silly crazy stuff and those get through fine, but the second I step out and point blank say what's the what, things happen. I'm cautiously sliding into Truth with things that may or may not get me censored, so we'll see what happens. I've purposely been keeping this blog very low key so it looks useless on analytics.

I just hope you guys get a clue how very thoroughly AI has been saturating our entire lives for many decades. It's not new. There never has been privacy in this world. You need to understand that.

I need to get some lunch. Hope you guys are having a great day.

Afterthought.

What I am doing with minecraft can best be understood by Douglas Adams' scene about the Bistromathics Drive, which you can read about here. Very few people ever catch on to what I'm doing.

:edit: Just noticed the timestamp on this post and looked it up. Bistromathics, anyone? 

Extra afterthought. I want to be clear about ALL numbers being significant. All numbers connect to all other numbers. I write with my tongue firmly in cheek and I appreciate that not all readers get that. There are no special numbers. People made that up. Just like there are no special days. Read the book of Amos. All days are the same. The only reason anything pops up as significant is because people and AI are involved. It's because we notice things. Our natural world doesn't orchestrate and manipulate. People do. That's important to understand.