back on moc

Today was brutal. Well, now it's yesterday. It was still really cool, though.

I've been going through physical therapies all over my body for over a decade, mostly for that accident. Today really took the cake on how much I can really take pain wise.

I thought doing nerve impingement work around my shoulder was about the hardest stuff I'd ever been through, but that was nothing compared to my face. Aside from living with a dislocated jaw for years, I'm also living with a severe nervous sysem disorder that over responds to everything in my body. You've heard of frozen shoulder, right. Imagine your entire musculature related to everything facial doing that.

People have said I look so young for my age all my life, kinda starting to wonder now if it has more to do with fibrotic healing response than anything. Everything in my muscles hardens over time and I've had to undergo 'maintenance' ASTYM in physical therapy a few times on top of actual physical therapies.

Whatever it is, the pain is about as rough as anything I've ever gone through including the car wreck itself. Nerve healing = turning pain back on after nerves have gone numb. It had already been affecting my speech and swallowing for years. Did you know your tongue muscles in your throat can get frozen like frozen shoulder?

The worst of the pain at the moment is around my cheek bones and temples. Ear pain has been significantly lightening up but still a bit rough. I first brought up ear pain in a hand written journal in 2003. For years it felt like ice picks stabbing into my ear drums. Once that numbed out it turned more into vertigo, but not the kind people normally get with the crystals in ear fluid thing. This is from compressed nerves. The work we did today swelled up my face again, and it's a bit miserable trying to lay down to sleep even on my back, because base of skull and down my neck are affected, as well.

I can't do pain meds any more like I used to, all I can handle this year is half a tramadol once a day, but I took another half tonight. I was so desperate for distraction after therapy today that I dove back into minecraft really hard. Wiped out the launcher a nephew had me install this last winter and got back to mo creatures, got the downloads there. I don't care that it's still 1.12, it's familiar because I played that on multiplayer for years and as soon as I had a singleplayer world loaded in I actually felt happy again, and I noticed for once there were no interruptions at all the entire time I felt happy.

omg I'm proofreading and just noticed this. You guys won't know what it means.

Back to proofreading.

I modified the seed I had created to something simpler but meaningful and immediately got exactly the kind of area I dream of, and it was so blessed with basic materials that I had easy startup with basic effort, nothing ridiculous. I already have in mind what I want to do, so maybe this summer I'll have a really cool beautiful home I can go hide in when I need to.

And that seed sync across internet that I was hoping for (lol, my AI experiment) actually worked, I was able to pull something up in search and get incredible results. I keep telling people we're already personally interacting with AI all our lives and no one takes me seriously because they can't see it or it's not on the news or something.

I would put screenshots in but I play on a different laptop. I'll get around to minecraft blogging later.