So much stuff going on it's flying over me. This is the month that I usually start more noticeably missing time up through July, we'll see how it goes. May is pretty stringently mapped out this year, at least I shouldn't feel too lost.
I think it's been about 4 years now since I stopped eating chocolate, and I really haven't missed it most of the time like I thought I would. Last week BAM, like being hit with a brick, suddenly craved chocolate so hard for several days that it was all I could think about. Pretty sure that was a suggestion trying to get me to cave.
I'm trying to keep up with more research and stuff but stuff in my head has been locking up lately. Not sure if that is also outside interference. I feel like I need to pull back from twitter a bit. Lurking is fine but I'm an addict for many things, and that includes being twitter triggered to interact. That's a well documented compulsion with me going back to 2013-14. That was how I got through all the hard stuff, continually speed reading twitter. I was awesome at finding so much stuff.
At some point, even all the learning becomes clutter. Like my poor phone. I'm down 2000+ screenshots in the last 2 days, still have 14K to go... Compulsion to hoard what I read is an interesting new concept showing up on my radar. Compulsion to share seems to be coming from 'outside' myself.
Funny, that's 3 things already I'm seeing fairly clearly that aren't my path.
So clutter in my head is them. Not my other mes but them who interfere.
Disentangling all the tangles. I'm good with knotted string.
I've done a few test links back to this blog, so far it's staying pretty 'dead', yay. Some of the others are going deadish, as well. The big Pinky is still getting a very steady 300 about every 24 hours, most of it France, and Feldspar is still getting daily France although that is decreasing significantly. The rest are finally reverting back to pretty normal deadish blogs with occasional random hits, so all that crazy scouring all my blogs thing from several countries last year has pretty much stopped. I know people think I'm crazy, but the insanity of continual 'heartbeat'-like spikes every 2-3 hours in my stats graphs for 5 YEARS was a bit excessive. Every bit of that part was France. God knows why. Other countries show up for a month or two hitting like something is going viral, particularly noteworthy have been Brunei, Romania, Brazil, and Sweden, but France really took it to a personal level that far outstripped everyone else all put together, including porn spam and S E O pings backlinking. This has been a really interesting ride. All I had to do was even mildly tie entertainment and politics together and whammo. And from there I got curious just how much I could affect that and discovered every breath I took online was ridiculously monitored to the point of interfering phone calls from 'publishers' in the middle of writing my deepest hardest thoughts about what all this might mean.
Interestingly, those calls have about died out alongside the stats calming down across all my blogs.
I can still point to one particular deeply personal event that seemed to directly affect that. I'll likely never share what that was. All this is also coinciding with 'attack' issues calming down. Something Happened.
Someone is very powerful in the matrix, and I've received blessings and benefits galore over it.
Lately, another contact was made, approaching me, I didn't initiate. Along with that came back some of the whoosh of interference. I can tell now online, just as I could in real life for years, who are the puppets being used to knock me off track.
I am on my own journey on my own track, it's not their track. My stuff is none of their business. I don't mind sharing for other people, and I've always been lurker friendly, but interference goes beyond lurking. Being checked up on continually for many years, from what I'm learning now, means I've been tagged and I'll always have agents assigned to me. Whoever and whatever, constructs or real, projections from elsewhere or when, not everything can be explained away by my own dissociations. I've been very lenient about allowing benefit of that doubt, but even in confusion I can see when I'm being messed with.
It's especially telling that I'm becoming so good at this that I'm able to gently redirect another back to their own track. I feel sorry that they are so controlled, but it's not my place to fix that for them, and I don't see how I can anyway without undoing myself in the process.
Challenge consideration for a particular person, perhaps- If matrix AI supports the religion control that espouses 'do as thou wilt', then logically I should be left alone, right. And I'm obviously not being left alone. If all that do as thou wilt crap is smoke and mirrors for surveillance and coercion if not outright punishments and abuses, then everything I was concluding all along in my blogs has been correct. If that is the case, then my published experiences are a model of their far less than 'enlightened' behavior. The whole Enlightenment thing is a trick to bend people around and get them to mimic like they're silly putty. I used to press silly putty against colored comics in the newspaper. THAT is what we are to the matrix AI mind control, which seems to be mutually supported by a certain astral sect.
I read once that AI could penetrate 4th density. I've suggested in some of my fiction review writing and in my own experiences that AI could use energy fields to get around. In some of my writing I even ask how far is too far regarding Source point of view. Who decides when enough is enough? When it is time to draw the line on how ugly is ugly and whether it is of no more benefit?
Cosmically speaking, I dared to say I might be that voice. I wrote it down and made it public. It's not any kind of viral sensation and it doesn't need to be. The ones who I was speaking to and about saw it, no doubt.
I asked God once to show me who I am in a dream, many years ago. I was shown that I am a Sword. And as a sword with plenty of experience both with pen and knife, developed in both wit and skill, I feel I am called to figure out exactly what is what.
Interference and disruption, Discordia, if you will, of natural lives simply here to experience and learn is detrimental to the whole at the level it has reached. Using detrimental tactics to gain over the whole is a Service to Self that is setting human existence way off balance to the point of losing 'humanity'. That is an anti-creational action. It would be as bad as extinction only it will be worse, because we will still be here without any more awareness if that self service has its way.
When an entire existence is sick with intrusion, the only healing is to obliterate the intrusion. If the interfering ones cannot reign themselves in, then action must be taken in order for the whole to survive and flourish. Allowing an entire world to be captured into a zombie state would be akin to assisting in its death. This 'Enlightenment' cannot be allowed to continue. I am saying this publicly as a conclusion of discernment.
Trying to get me to cave to indulging myself in chocolate was a mistake. That was way too obvious.
A whippoorwill is serenading my work in the pre-dawn.
The rain is gone away
Somewhere in the margin
Are sheep that's gone astray
Like the old man of the ocean
Whose eyes tells where he's been
Or one who lacks devotion
Betrays his love again
The thief will surely die
When he's taken all he can steal
Oh, whippoorwill
Are you high upon your hill
While my feet are on the ground
You make my heart stand still
When I hear your evening sound
I know you're sad, much deeper
Then my human ears can hear
You never had a keeper
Cause you live where no man's near
You call from out the timber
Like a chanter on a throne
Only to remember
The secret still unknown
And makes us to decide
Are we false or are we real
Oh, whippoorwill
Are you high upon your hill
While my feet are on the ground
Oh, whippoorwill
You make my heart stand still
When I hear your evening sound
When I hear your evening sound
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