deep in my pinky dreams

Little kid birthday week!!! 😍 I'm already caked out and I haven't even made it yet.

Not sure what all we'll get to, but we have plans to grow crystals, hopefully that works out. Last time she was here we did a different craft and it turned out to be much harder than it looked and took a bit of time to get it done. The crystals will take much longer.

The heat outside is insane. The chickens need ice cubes in their water. By the end of the day the water is almost too hot to drink, even not sitting in the sun, and we have to change it out to cooler water before they roost for the night so they won't dehydrate.

Playing with little codes while I listen to a meditation guide while I wait for my game timers to pop. If you see little hearts falling, I just did that.

This is my fave binary graphic. If you click it you can get to the page I got it from.

I just really like that.

I think I've been naturally able to space out into meditation all my life. When I first learned about meditation years ago, I struggled with trying to focus on it because I kept spacing out and forgetting I was supposed to be meditating. 😂 

When I space out, everything immediate around me is as forgotten as it is when I'm sleeping, just a background that doesn't involve me. I can do this just about anywhere, any time. All I have to do is just stare off at a wall or a something and next thing you know, time has passed and I haven't felt it passing at all. I'm still aware but not of myself. It's like I'm part of everything while I randomly wander. I guess some people can't just let go like that. Some people I know get really tense if they sit still with nothing to do or talk about or look at or think about. Sometimes it's like they're fighting to stay focused on being super awake and the second they let go they literally fall asleep. I can't even imagine not being able to space out like I do.

At any rate, I do it so much that I learned long ago how to multitask while I'm spaced out. It's like I can run several tracks in my head at once without colliding the trains. It's way more stressful on me to have to focus back onto one track and 'be here' with other people. I can do that fairly well for awhile, like an hour or two, or half a day if I have to, but by the time I can let go of that in the now kind of immediate interaction focus, I'll have a headache. Nearly every autist I've met says the same thing.

Nothing like a meditation guide vid suddenly fuzzing out into some weird digitized smear of sound. That'll snap a person back.

I guess it's time to move on. My game popped half an hour ago and I have nothing else to do right now but wish a few things. See you laterz.